This Life Of Mine

My entire life can be described in one sentence: it didn’t go as planned and that’s okay.     Hearing the words, “I don’t see a path for us to be happy together forever” absolutely broke me. At first I really wanted to hold on to hope that it was just a phase and things would get better. After all, we had our whole lives planned out together. But as each day went on, reality started to set in and I could see how the man I was married to was no longer the man I had married. Eventually I had to decide for myself that it was better to close this chapter of our lives and have hope for a better future than it was to keep trying to hold onto someone that didn’t want to be held onto.  Coming to that realization didn’t make things any easier though, in fact it made it so much harder because it made the situation that much more real. The first few days I was a sobbing mess. I found myself coming back to reality every morning when I woke up, as if I thought it was all some...

8 years ago we were just kids. We were getting ready to run off to the courthouse with our closest friends and family. We were so eager to combine our bank accounts and change my last name to match yours. We were so incredibly in love with each other. And now 8 years later, I’m sitting here wondering how the hell we got here.  Today we should be celebrating us and how far we’ve made it. We should be exchanging gifts and I love you’s. We should be thankful for a decision we made that would forever change our lives for the better, but instead it turned out to be a decision that gave us so many life lessons. Instead of celebrating 8 years of marriage we’re announcing our separation and eventual divorce.  After my hospital stay and all of the challenges that come with having a preemie, I really thought we would come out on top. I thought it was a situation that we would grow through and that would bring us closer, but I was so wrong. It only helped you come to the conclus...